The gilded python known as Donald J. Trump slithered into the Washington. D.C. swamp he promised to drain but instead held court with the assorted nutria, copperheads, and alligators who’d gathered to kiss his ring. Or his whatever. The punditry, meanwhile, helped make America great again by normalizing sexual predation, bigotry, xenophobia, and fraud. What’s not to like about a trending keyword, after all? They only last a day and a half or so and the bills have to be paid.
Abraham Lincoln said you can fool some of the people all of the time, all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of the time. That Abe could turn a phrase, no? But so could the con man who said there’s a sucker born every minute. An awful lot of minutes means an awful lot of suckers out there dancing in lockstep to the Pied Trumpster’s refrains amply suffixed with -isms and -phobics. Kind of catchy, that tune.
For Trumpolytes, the Duke of Orange is the cat’s meow when it comes to making America great again. For them, it doesn’t matter what you say so much as how you say it, whatever “it” is. Facts are fungible, and never mind that since 2011, Politifact has checked Trump’s statements 300 times and found his assertions to be False, Mostly False, or Pants on Fire lies 70 percent of the time. So what? It’s just a George Soros plot meant to further the cause of libtards everywhere.
And one more verse in Trump’s requiem ballad followed by the chorus of pundits and politicians making outrage the new normal.
Democrats, of course, were dismayed to learn their Anointed One didn’t get anointed after all, thanks to those pesky Rust Belters, suburbanites, and ruralites who weren’t With Her. College-educated white women weren’t With Her either. Nor was a swathe of the faithful who didn’t vote. Not just dismayed, but stunned, those crafty old Dem’s, which is surprising given their’ stunning loss of the House, Senate, state houses and governorships since 2008. Things were bad before tapering off, but the data missed it. Or someone missed the data. One of those. It’s got to be the FBI’s fault that the paint-by-numbers-and-got-the-best-grades candidate lost.
But joy looms large in Trumpistan, where denizens who thought jobs resulted from some deus ex machina are convinced those jobs will come back because the holy white-eyed Annoying Orange said so. Those three-day work weeks churning out crap at the Ford factory in return for a full week’s pay and defined benefits forever are right around the corner. Well, maybe in Mexico, actually, but when we send 11 million Mexicans back, they’ll be happy to return those factories to pay for the wall we’re gonna build along the border.
“Critics say building the wall may be problematic,” goes the chorus as the punditry sings, as the absurd become just another option. Mr. Beckett and Mr. Ionesco, are you listening? Oh, wait.
Welcome to Day Seven of the Apocalypse. More to follow. Please watch this space.